Saying NO to People and Opportunities
Saying No with grace and style is a skill. Saying No with grace, style, feeling good about you, and maintaining a friendship is an art. There will come a time, when your friends are doing something that is totally not you. You have to make a decision:
- Fit in or maintain your independence.
- Remember who you are or reject who you are.
- Move toward your goals or move away from your goals.
- useful to them
fun to be with
someone who loves you.
Someone who Loves you, would not:
Stand there and let you hurt yourself
Do anything that would hurt you
Encourage you to do something that would hurt you
You can always tell who loves you by their actions.
- Malia is the daughter of the President of the United States — that is a part of her identity. She is in a privileged position as a member of the First Family. Some people expect exemplary behavior others will say, “Let her alone. Let her be a teenager.” Her parents will be embarrassed. People who don’t know her personally will judge. — Like father, like daughter and so on and so on.
- She has a responsibility to her parents and to their standards of public conduct. Is this an example of a public rejection of that standard?
- When the First Family is in public, there are cameras everywhere, as a result they should behave accordingly. Did Malia care if someone took a picture of her smoking weed?
- Personally I was disappointed in her friends. If they really cared about her, they never would have allowed her to smoke weed in public. They would have protected her from herself. They would have anticipated that someone would film it; sell the film and it would become a public image. Malia might not have cared if there was a picture of her smoking weed, but true friends would have known that a public picture of the act would not have been beneficial to her image. They would have cared about her, her reputation, and her parents’ feelings. We call that peer pressure, which means acceptance of the person, but rejection of the behavior. We all need friends who can be like this.
- She didn’t consider the future. This picture is her new identity; some will remember her as the president’s daughter who publicly smoked weed.
- Kids publicly smoke marijuana. It is against the law. The super high THC factor is not good.
- There is public behavior and there is private behavior. There is legal behavior and illegal behavior. There is ethical behavior and unethical behavior. There is naïve / foolish behavior and there is wise behavior. This is a higher standard — based on my history (people tend to repeat their history), my present circumstance and my future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do? Decisions that are wise for me will be different from what is wise for someone else because our past, present circumstances and future hopes and dreams are all different.
- Sometimes you just can’t be like all the other kids; as a result there is rejection.